Where Kerr Babies Come From

The following took place yesterday evening. Therefore, a few details of the conversation may have mutated as they replayed in my head. I'm saying this now, so Jason can't come in later and tell me he didn't say exactly this or that. This is my version of the story. Mine. Ha!


After dinner, I started to read birth stories again on the internet. (No, I'm not pregnant.)

Jason: "Would you stop that? You're driving me nuts."

Me: "What?"

Jason: "You keep reading that birth stuff. Stop it!"

Me: "I'm reading silently. What does it have to do with you?"

He pointed in the general direction of our four offspring.

Me: "What?"

Jason: "When you read that, you get pregnant."

Me: "I don't think that's quite how it works."

Jason: "Oh yeah? Don't you remember how you used to watch all that birth stuff on TV before the girls and Jonah?"

Me: "I hardly think it's related."

Jason: "It makes you WANT to be pregnant. When you WANT to be pregnant, you get pregnant."

Me: "I do not WANT to be pregnant. Besides, this isn't so much about birth. It's about deviant social behavior. It's revolutionary cultural stuff. I'm not even reading for the birth stuff."

He sighed and sat down with some Robert Frost stuff. Stuff. Okay, I'm done with the stuff.

But I couldn't help wondering if he was right. I mean, I really did obsess about birth before the twins were even conceived. I inundated my mind constantly with images and books and facts.

I had to ask myself, Do I want to be pregnant?

No, I don't. Really. I don't.

Well, maybe just a liiiiiiiiittle bit.

But I don't want another baby.

Very different wants: pregnancy vs. baby.

Nope. Not gonna do it. Na-uh. No way.

Okay, this is making me hyperventilate. No more. Stop it.

Okay, I'm done.

I just need to repeat the magic word:

Triplets, triplets, triplets. . .